rhydonmyhardon: let us have a moment of silence for those who unknowingly dated and broke up with a future celebrity
me: I'm going to bed early tonight.
me: is that the sun
earthnation: DONT GO THRU OLD CONVERSATIONS WITH SOMEONE WHO U USED TO BE CLOSE WITH
angrybagel: WHEN I FIRST MOVED TO AMERICA MY TEACHER TOLD ME TO “GET MY FANNY OVER HERE” AND I STOPPED DEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CLASSROOM AND THAT PHRASE HAUNTED ME FOR YEARS UNTIL I LEARNED THAT IT MEANT BUTT IN AMERICA NOT VAGINA
vaginalsalsa: jehovas-witness: internetexplorers: cheese3d: nothings worse than soft grapes soft apples soft dicks This is what Yahoo spent $1.1 billion on
espeonchan: it’s been 2013 for almost half a year what the FUCK
zukuku: theres this girl in my class whos been carrying this 6x6 rubiks cube since the first day of school and today she finally finished it so we all started applauding n she was so overwhelmed she ended up crying
graffeti: my grandma is angry at my grandpa because when they went to the doctor’s the lady asked what he was allergic to and he said his wife
iloveyoulikekanyeloveskanye: Am I too young to retire
kfcofficial: im not even a 2nd choice im like an 8th choice sometimes a 10th
lanafan: it’s lana del may
glorys: if someone could transplant their fast metabolism into my body that would be amazing
I hate it when a student asks a legit question because theyre confused and the teacher treats them like an idiot like no wonder students don’t want to ask questions
mrmisf0rtune: ofmiceandmen-still-ydgn: what’s forrest gump’s password? 1forrest1 I laughed a lot more than what I should have.
ohabutt: in middle school my friend used to give me these huge lemons to eat because they were delicious and one time i was eating one and some idiot told me he’d give me ten bucks to take a huge bite and another kid added five so i got 15 american dollar for doing what i was already doing truly this is the land of opportunity
otomuragakuya: a sentence will always look like poetry if you hit enter a lot
hurricane-emily: jimgaffigan: Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done. maybe just maybe women do some things for themselves and not just for men what a concept
lanadelrevupthosefryers: *liveblogs loss of virginity*
christoph-waltzed: I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get it cut So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to. She came in the next day with her hair cut how she...